Lessons from the South

[Nathan K. Hammond]

Tennessee

The owner of a golf course was confused about paying an invoice, so he
decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her
into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee
and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how
much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then
replied, "Everything but my earrings."

You gotta love those UT women.

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Alabama:

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in two's
for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering
under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others
asked.. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back
up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out
there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded
the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

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Louisiana:

A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying... "When the end of the
world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana." When asked why, he replied
he'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana
20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.

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Mississippi:

The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said
to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the
parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was? "The young man
answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

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Georgia : (MY Favorite! nkh)

A Georgia State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID? "The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

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North Carolina

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of
the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the
car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby
studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around
and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man
replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the
flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put
flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

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That will learn ya!

nkh